Exposing my testimony on the internet may be used against me in one form or another; namely, preventing managers from hiring me, having my words ripped out of context by those who are opposed to my beliefs or to me personally. In either case, God is sovereign over all things and I trust He will use my testimony for His glory. After all, “… we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28).

I would like to begin my testimony with “His purpose” in mind because I would not be saved if it had not been for God ordaining the means to draw me to Him (John 1:12-13; 2 Thess. 2:13-14; Rom. 8:28-30; Eph. 1:1-11). Without God’s miracle of regeneration upon my inherently sick and wicked heart (Jer. 17:9; Psalm 51:5; Eph. 2:1,3), I never would have come to Christ (John 6:44). I came to the Father because He decided to move, to teach me the things of God (John 6:45) after enabling me to understand spiritual things that can only be understood as a new creature (1 Cor. 2:14; 2 Cor. 5:17). In short, my conversion was the work of God, and His work alone.

Many have asked me questions along the lines of, “How did you find God and let Him save you?” I find questions as these to be unfortunate because it assumes that a human decision caused a spiritual birth when it is suppose to assume God’s initiation and power as the cause. The question should be flipped to, “What means did God use to graciously save you?” Now the question is accurate because it assumes God to be the author of salvation. Indeed, He is the author and finisher of salvation (Heb. 12:2). The cause of salvation, then, is of God whereas the sinner merely experiences the effects of God’s Spirit moving where He wishes (John 1:12-13; John 3:8). And while the sinner experiences the indwelling of God’s Spirit, he walks by faith (Hab. 2:4) in good works that God has prepared beforehand (Eph. 2:10) to which will never come to an end because “He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 1:6). I will now bear my testimony in light of the correct question, “What means did God use to graciously save you?”

My “boat began to rock” around the time I met a girl in high school who is now my fiancée. Her name is Sarah and, during the time we met, she was still affiliated with the Church of Christ (CoC) movement that she had been attending her whole life with her family. One thing led to another – we discovered how conflicting our worldviews of salvation were, which led me to re-think my own stance on some issues and my relationship with God. I soon become increasingly hungry for truth.

Part of my truth-seeking involved communication with various pastors, absorbing apologetics from the Internet and radio and putting my faith to test by openly proclaiming my beliefs to those with opposing beliefs. Within that time period of desperately searching for answers, God opened my eyes to discover that these events were preordained to bring me across the gospel.

Upon being faced with the gospel one particular day, I was utterly captivated by the grace of God that disarmed me of my hostility toward the God of the Bible. As Charles Spurgeon put it, ‎"A man is not saved against his will, but he is made willing by the operation of the Holy Ghost. A mighty grace which he does not wish to resist enters into the man, disarms him, makes a new creature of him, and he is saved."

My desire to follow Christ was the result of Him taking out my heart of stone and giving me a heart of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26). At that point, I knew I did not deserve His grace, and that is the beauty of it. God had every right to leave me to my own devices that would have ultimately led me to eternal damnation where there is weeping and mashing of teeth. Thank God He was not fair to me. If He had done to me what I deserved, I’d be on my way to hell.

As I live by faith in this fallen world with this fallen flesh, I imperfectly, but surely, progress to conform to the image of Christ. I never will be perfect as God is perfect, but my eyes are looking upon the serpent lifted up in the wilderness, God in flesh (John 1:1,14). He is my Prophet, Priest, King, LORD and Savior. I can rejoice in the blessing that He had me in mind while He bore my sin in His body on the cross (1 Peter 2:24) and paid the penalty I deserve on my behalf. I cannot stress enough how regeneration preceded this faith by which I live. Without God choosing to enter into relationship with the wretch that I am, none of this would be possible. And, yet, all this is possible with God (Matt. 19:26).

God changed me inside out. It was an inward washing that required a change of heart before a change of mind could ever occur.

He saved me. He really saved me.